OK - last chapter of the employment biography summarises what I've learned from the first seven chapters and gives some advice for the future. Here are the main conclusions of my biography, and the advice that came out of them. Advice is in bold typeface.
It appears, that I tend to disagree with my superiors, to the point of conflict. I do this because I am not only convinced that I am right, I am driven by this conviction. I have a tendency to be paranoid, and I don't understand what other people are thinking.
There has never been and will never be a simple fix to my challenges.
In the future I must talk with everybody and complain to nobody.
Everybody are fallible, also managers. Learn to live with it.
I will not be promoted. Forget about it.
I should use my husband and my internet groups, perhaps my blogs, to convey my frustrations, keep them away from work.
I recharge myself using statistical software and spreadsheets at work, and cooking at home. I know that I have to use recharging as a coping strategy. If I sense a conflict at work, or there may be too much socialising, noise, meetings or other sources of sensory overload, I have to find the time to work with a data set or else go home and make coq au vin.
I only need to make the amount of money I did in the job before my previous job, which is about $1,800 less (before tax) a month than I do now. That extra money is nice, but not in any way necessary.
What should I do about meltdowns? I should accept that there is a risk that I will face a meltdown, and if I feel it approaching, I promise myself to try and take a walk.
I must pick my battles. Carefully.
I can't and shall not try to change my manager. He is not changable.
I must remember to check up on my conversation partner, in order to avoid them losing interest.
When I am depressed, I take a pessimistic view on everything and I have no energy.
I think I appear (physical appearance) OK. I shower every day, change my clothes every second day, and I rarely wear clothes that are visibly torn or broken. But I always wear the same type of clothes. I asked my husband about my grooming habits but he only pointed out that I look very nice with scarves. In which case I think my grooming habits do not constitute a serious problem :)
Question to self: Do I monitor my emotions? Can I? How? (this must be my homework...)
I ask for help or advice, when I know whom to ask, and in particular when I need practical help. I am afraid of appearing stupid (not that I was ever considered stupid, I don't know why I am so afraid of this) and therefore I tend not to ask about more fundamental problems.
I need to relax about asking for help.